The idea of being original isn’t new. Growing up, I was always told by my teachers, my family, my role models, and even characters on television shows to just “be yourself.” This usually translates to “Relax, just be you, and don’t overthink it.” However, when it comes to persuasion, our instincts tend to lead us astray. We try to hide our true selves, especially the parts of us we assume the other person won’t appreciate or accept. 

As a new grad physical therapist, I was afraid that my patients would see right through me, that I was a new clinician with very little experience, and that I barely knew what I was doing. More than anything, I was scared that my patients thought that I didn’t know anything. So I projected myself as overly confident. I smiled more. I spoke louder and more formally than than I usually do. Over time, I found that this instinctive strategy did not work. 

As humans, our tendency is to try to project an image of ourselves that isn’t truly us. The problem here is that people can tell when we’re hiding our true selves. Studies have shown that humans are good at detecting dishonesty with split-second, gut level accuracy. So if our initial instincts aren’t effective, what is?

When it comes to persuasion, providing the facts can certainly help you prove your case. But what truly matters is personal character. As Aristotle put it, “we believe good men more fully and more readily than others… [A speaker’s] character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion he possesses.” What persuades people is not necessarily the substance of the argument, but the person saying it. 

Think back to when you had an argument with someone and you knew that you were right. You had your facts straight and you presented your argument clearly, yet your opponent still wouldn’t budge. On the flip side, which politicians tend to win votes when it comes to divisive issues? Not necessarily the ones that base their arguments solely on the facts. Although the facts tend to help, what sways voters is whether or not this person seems confident, sincere, well intentioned, and trustworthy. In other words, its their character that helps you decide your vote.

Character, as Jason Harris put it in his book The Soulful Art of Persuasion, isn’t just the ethical rules you try to follow or the personal beliefs you hold. Your character is also defined by all of the habits and dispositions you instinctively display. When thought of this way, your character traits that lead to persuasiveness must flow from you naturally. People need to get a glimpse of the real you. 

There are a ton of benefits of being original, but three important ones come to mind. First, putting your true self out there (the good, the bad, and the ugly) gives something people recognize and relate to. Besides, if people’s ability to detect BS is good, how are they able to relate to you if you don’t show some vulnerability? Second, if they are able to relate to you, you become memorable to them. More importantly, you become trustworthy. After all, as clinicians, building trust leads to a higher likelihood of follow-through. Finally, you never know what parts of you may be drawn to other people. You might think that your massive collection of Nike Air Jordans, F1 team jerseys, obscure tiki mugs, or Star Wars Legos might throw off your patients. However, it’s these traits that might just be what makes you that much more trustworthy in your patients’ eyes. On top of that, the fact that you made yourself more vulnerable conveys confidence. And confidence is what your patients are looking for.

A Word on Building Trust

As it turns out, trust is earned in the smallest of moments. It isn’t earned by knowing the most complex information, performing the most heroic deeds, or even highly visible actions, but through paying attention, listening, and gestures of genuine care and connection. As Brene Brown writes in her book Dare to Lead, “trust is the stacking and layering of small moments and reciprocal vulnerability over time. Trust and vulnerability grow together, and to betray one is to destroy both.”

If your character is defined by all of the habits and dispositions you instinctively display and trust is earned in the smallest of moments, then your most important asset when communicating with patients isn’t your vast knowledge of human anatomy, physiology, and biomechanics (although that tends to help). Your most important asset is your character – your true, original self. Early in my practice, I didn’t just learn that the image that I projected to my patients as an overly-confident therapist didn’t work. I also learned that projecting my truest personality – my character – was what gained my patients’ trust. With their trust gained, I was able to use my clinical skills to make my patients better. 

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